Dreams

I've been sleeping a lot lately - kind of been going to bed at 12 but never quite getting up at 9... so I'm getting on average about 10 hours of sleep.

And while it's nice, I'm kind of wondering why I'm sleeping so much. Usually I sleep a lot after a period of not sleeping very much - kind of catch-up. So I'm hoping I'm just making up for... something... and I'll go back to needing 8 hours in a few days.

In the meantime I've had some interesting dreams, and while I forget most of them, I thought last night's was interesting/disturbing enough to record down.

Basically what I can remember is being late for school, or maybe being on-time, and having gym first period, and our gym lesson was basically getting to the gym taking a difficult path. And I was walking with a girl, a best friend from when I was younger, who I haven't heard from in ages, and I was very disappointed when after being best friends, she just kind of disappeared from my life. And we were both 13 again and it was nice having her by my side. And by the time we got to the gym, we weren't sure what we were meant to be doing, "swimming!" I said, but the swimming pool had been turned into a gym so that obviously wasn't what we were doing. And we wandered between different gym lessons and none of them were ours.

And then another dream I had last night, I think this was completely seperate, was me visiting this random village in Australia that was coincidentally named the same thing as this place in Scotland, and meeting a friend there. I have a lot of guilt associated with this friend to do with romantic interests and my fleeting changing fickle mind. He has understandably since distanced himself from me, which I understand, but invariably sometimes feel rather guilty about, and sometimes kind of sad when I remember how well we got along. Anyway so he has moved to this tiny remote village, and we decide to go to New York (or some other great metropolitan) by train, on a Great Adventure, and we invite some of his small-town hick friends, which was fun. And again it was great just hanging out with him, and I think we even saved some people's lives. This was a very confusing dream in that all these random things happen and I think I changed viewpoints, as in from one person to another, quite a few times. But what I remember the most was just hanging out with him and having a great time, and, admittedly, being tempted again, but knowing that at the end of the day I was right to have done what I did 3 years ago.

So dreams are meant to be your brain working things out I guess, so I thought it was interesting that in one night I dreamt about two people I have cared a lot about and have kind of 'lost', but in two very different ways.

Dreams are dreams though, and should I draw any kind of conclusion from them it would probably be wrong as I don't suppose dreams are meant to give you conclusions. But I guess for the second one perhaps it is time for me to stop feeling guilty, because what I could have done otherwise is much much worse. And for the first one? I've missed her for a long time, but sitting here now examining my feelings, I realise that I don't anymore. I guess, sad that I am to admit it, that was a relationship that ended a very long time ago, and I could try to get in touch again, but what could I expect? It would be nice to hear from her again, hear what she is up to, but I don't think we would have much else to say apart from that.