Ah.

I've discovered the answer.

I can't take it when people who love me stop loving me.  It reduces me.  I am still that small attention-seeking child crying out for all to love her.  Still the child who got excluded from a secret in 2nd grade, the child who read extra-double-fast to be included in a club in 4th grade, the child who felt forgotten in the 7th, and again in the 9th.

When there is no one left who loves me I think I may very well lose my sanity.