mref.

My knee is killing me, and I have a competition tomorrow. And it's the one competition we have to win as it's against the other club. And I'm the best/most experienced female for this match as my best fighter is going to have dinner with her parents! Gargh.

I watched Joan Osborne's "One of us" video on Youtube today and it really made me nostalgic. It also reminded me of Baz Luhrman's Romeo & Juliet for some reason, and now I really want to watch it again.

Talked about Sylvia Plath last night... the person I was talking to was like "wow, now I can see why you think men are bastards" (this is not a necessarily true statement, obviously not all men are bastards but sometimes when one of my friends tells me something I just get mad at men... not my male friends... just men). It really took me back though, to a time I really actually understood Plath. We also had a discussion on Shakespeare, which might be partly what triggered my Romeo & Juliet "craving".

I also think I'm losing control... and I'm digging holes deeper than I thought I could get, because the deeper I dig the more interested I get in what's at the bottom, even though I could potentially bury myself alive. Why do I do this to myself?

meh

Sometimes listening to Dashboard Confessional is a bad idea.

Sometimes getting unhappy at someone for a petty reason, or not so
petty, is not a great idea. Especially if you go out of your way to
pettily annoy them, and in the process make yourself unhappy.

Sometimes skipping karate to do work is a good idea....

Dear Blog (& readers)

I'm sorry I haven't been to see you much lately. I'm very busy. I have friends and stuff... and karate and study. I know I should write one day.... and I will. At the moment I crave salt.

I'm going to the sports union ball next Thursday and it's going to be epic. This is the first time I've actually tried to lose fat for a dress... and I think it was working well until yesterday when I caved and had 3 desserts followed by a pudding party where I had lots and lots of cake. Then today I had more meringue and a hot chocolate, and I couldn't train because I strained my neck. Also I have shin splints, my ankle feels wobbly and bad, I might've bruised my rib, and my knees still hurt. So I thought it best I take a day off training....

Quote

"the author of the TCk book came to our school in cairo. he basically
told us we were doomed with relationships because we are so used to
saying goodbye, and we would settle down withe wrong person. it was
one depressing day"

that made me laugh out loud. I'm not sure whether it's funny or sad!

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

What the hell! I'm sitting in the labs at 10 o'clock at night trying
to program and there's this dude here who is talking on his mobile
phone really loudly and has been for at least 20 minutes! I can't
concentrate! Like get the hell out of the lab if you're gonna be
talking on the phone you f*cker! KILL KILL
KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(isn't it great that I at least do karate and get the agression out somehow?)

Film.... list.... thing.

(x) Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
() Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
() Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story
() Blazing Saddles
() Airplane
Total:6

(x) The Princess Bride [probably have, can't remember it though]
() AnchorMan [I have got to get a hold of this...]
() Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
() Saw
() Saw II
() White Noise
() White Oleander
() Anger Management
() 50 First Dates
() The Princess Diaries
() The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
Total so far: 8

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
() Scary Movie
() Scary Movie 2
() Scary Movie 3
() Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
() American Pie 2
() American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
Total so far: 12

(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
() Resident Evil 1
() Resident Evil 2
() The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
() The Village
(x) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far: 17

(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
() The Grinch
(x) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
() White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
() I, Robot
() Robots
Total so far: 23

() Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
() Universal Soldier
() Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
() KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed
() Meet The Parents
() Meet the Fockers
() Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
() KING KONG
Total so far: 25

() A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
() Dumber & Dumberer
() Final Destination
() Final Destination 2
() Final Destination 3
() Halloween
(x) The Ring
() The Ring 2
() Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber
Total so far: 29

() Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
(x)Chicago
()Ghost Ship
() From Hell
() Hellboy
() Secret Window
() I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
() The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far: 31

(x) The Day After Tomorrow
(x) Child's Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
() Gothika
() Nightmare on Elm Street
() Sixteen Candles
() Remember the Titans
(x) Coach Carter
() The Grudge
() The Grudge 2
(x) The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
Total so far: 36

() Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
() Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean's Eleven
() Ocean's Twelve
() Bourne Identity
() Bourne Supremecy
() Lone Star
() Bedazzled
() Predator I
() Predator II
() The Fog
(x) Ice Age
() Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
Total so far:38

(x) Independence Day
() Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
() Christine
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
() Maid in Manhattan
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
() Rush Hour 2
Total so far: 43

() Best Bet
() How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
() Mars Attacks
() Event Horizon
() Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator
(x) The Terminator 2
(x) The Terminator 3
Total so far: 50

() X-Men
(x) X2
(x) X-3
(x) Spider-Man
() Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
() Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
() Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Little Mermaid
() Freaky Friday [Which One?]
() Reign of Fire
() The Skulls
(x) Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
(x) Shrek 2
Total so far: 57

() Swimfan
(x) Miracle on 34th street
() Old School
() The Notebook
() K-Pax
() Krippendorf's Tribe
() A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
() The 40-year-old-virgin
Total so far: 58

(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
() Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
() Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far: 62

() Baseketball
() Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
() Elf
() Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
() Three
Total so Far: 62

() The Jacket
(x) Kung Fu Hustle
(x) Shaolin Soccer
() Night Watch
(x)Monsters Inc.
(x)Titanic
()Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Shaun Of the Dead
() Willard
Total so far: 66

() High Tension
() Club Dread
() Hulk
() Dawn Of the Dead
(x) Hook
(x) Chronicle Of Narnia The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
() 28 days later
() Orgazmo
() Phantasm
(x)Waterworld
Total so far: 70

(x) Kill Bill vol 1
(x) Kill Bill vol 2
(x) Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
() Kingdom of Heaven
() the Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
() Army of Darkness
Total so far: 73

(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
(x) Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
(x) Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
() Ewoks The Battle For Endor
Total so far: 79

(x) The Matrix
(x) The Matrix Reloaded
(x) The Matrix Revolutions
(x) Animatrix
() Evil Dead
() Evil Dead 2
() Team America: World Police
() Red Dragon
() Silence of the Lambs
() Hannibal
Total so far: 83

written on train - 06/01/2007

The year is 2007 and I am 22. To me the year 2007 seems futuristic - conjuring up images of spaceships and gleaming metallic objects. I'm going through a strange transitional phase - rediscovering after a few years of fitting in that I am *different*, rediscovering those strange traits that set me apart from everyone else, those symptoms that when put together point straight to my past, a past I'm not really rewilling to visit, to untagle the events and emotions that make me the person I am today. I am luckier than some with my condition - I have a family that loves best it can. I am at the moment travelling, shedding dependence as the train moves north, changing skins, switching from child of loving parents to independent student carving out a future. The future. Something I find hard to comprehend, my frustrating indecisions are what lead me back to my past. The future spreads before me, wild, unpredictable and ungraspable, so broad it makes me panic. There are too many choices to make, too many places I could find myself.

I'm not sure what I want, scared that choosing a path will lead to eventual disappointment.

I like....

Diana Krall.

She makes me feel sophisticated. She's my soundtrack.