A watered-down copy of an e-mail I sent Vash

I'm too wound up to sleep at the moment, so thought I'd drop you an e-mail.

So I don't know how often you check Facebook but I wrote a note on it last night about this course called the PURE course that the Christian Union are running that has been the talk of the uni for sometime now... mainly because it is said that in this course they at some point talk about 'curing' homosexuality. Anyway, I mentioned you somewhat in passing as you're Catholic.

I don't know what I'm particularly upset about really, why I'm not happy and peaceful and going to bed.

I had a group project meeting yesterday which is basically where me and my dissertation supervisor have a meeting with a few other students and their supervisors and the students give a short presentation on our project and how much we've done so far. So I went up first and one of the other supervisors was like "well... I don't really see a point to your project. Why is it useful?" and well, my project is about generating new dances so it's not really useful in a scientific sort of way, you know? But it's damn interesting and fun. But I kind of stood there for like 5 minutes while she just kind of went on at me about my uesless project and what work I've not done for it.

You know me, I'm pretty chill about most things. So at the end I just said "thank you" and sat down. But goddamnit that bugs me so much. Ok I've not done a LOT of work for it but I've done a bit, and I was quite proud of what I've done. And like I'm used to things bugging me and then forgetting about them and it rolling off like water on a duck's back. But I'm having a little trouble letting go of this.

I thought karate tonight will get it out of my system, but I walked away from karate even more distressed because my team mate got a finger in his eye and had a scratched cornea.

Now things ALWAYS happen to him.... and I do mean always. A couple of weeks ago he got knocked out with a kick to the head and had a concussion. A couple of weeks before that he twisted his knee and was hobbling around for a good 2 weeks. Last year he got his nose broken. And that's the only injury I can remember because it was the biggest one, but he did have quite a few. Last year he got so depressed about getting injured so often that he was honestly thinking of quitting fighting... until he won a gold medal at the british universities, of course.

Now I'm worried he'll get discouraged again... despite the fact that he's doing really really well lately. His fighting has definitely been turned up a few notches and has inspired me to take mine up a few notches myself. And I hate that he keeps on getting injured... because it really isn't his fault, and I do feel so bad for him.

Dude this year is so tough... I know I already told you how stressed out I am about it... but yeah. Also with the karate club... I'm worried it might not survive to next year. I'm worried that the committee members don't come to training.... and I have no control over it. I know it's not my burden to carry, but I care so much about my club, and I'm so frustrated at my committee that they can't commit to the club the way I have, that they aren't making the club as best as it can be.

I'm trying to be a leader the best way I can... I've got Jon-O as my rolemodel but it's just not working. And everytime I have a problem with the committee I do think "How would Jon-O handle this?"... except it's not very applicable to go from a summer camp director to the captain of a karate club.