Yikes, angst!

Whoops, sorry about the angst! Just I realised that tomorrow (today) is not our second year anniversary which means that Tuesday was exactly a year after we got back together after he broke up with me for 3 days and in hindsight it wasn't the cleverest thing I ever did. But everyone deserves second chances. Just that, it smarts to give someone a second chance and realise afterwards that there was no point.

So! My plans for my not second anniversary tomorrow is to read a lot about Compiling Techniques as my exam is on Monday, eat lots of chocolate, and drink tea. About the same as every day, then.

To celebrate, I'll share with you something I found looking through my computer trying to clear things out...

21 Things I want in a Lover
Intelligent (but know that it alone does not equate wisdom)
Open to all kinds of music and like more than one kind
Spontaneous
Not afraid to stand out from the crowd/look silly
Put others first - but not disregarding self totally
Chivalrous
have a passion - guitars, physics, music, fencing?
Internationally aware - do you know what is happening outside of Britain/Europe?
Stand up for what you believe in
Idealistic - not pessimistic (view of the world, life, etc)
Open minded - Not afraid of trying out new things, can put up with oddities
not NEED to be with me - but would rather be with me than without
Have a good sense of humour - probably sarcastic and self-deprecating
Creative/Musician
Widely read
Supportive
Sensitive but not too sensitive
Idea of a night out is in a pub talking rather than clubbing
Not possessive
Can cook
Does not do drugs/smoke

I wrote that for Valentines day in 1st year... all my flatmates wrote one and we stuck them on the door of our flat, without our names, asking people to guess who we were and to suggest anybody they knew! Of course it takes after the Alanis Morissette song 21 Things I want in a Lover.

If I were bitter or analytical I could totally dissect that and say all the things the ex isn't... but I don't wish to hold grudges and he was only horrible at the end (the rest of the time he treated me like a princess) and that wasn't intentional... rather it was negligent and careless, and he could've handled it better, but everybody makes mistakes. Also, like the song says, the list is not necessarily needs, but qualities I'd prefer.

To clarify, no, I don't really hate him. I was being overdramatic as usual. I just hate how he handled things at the end. But that's not hating him. It's like something I remember learning in psychology, way back in IB... children (and everyone, really) need unconditional love, and they need to know that just because they did something bad their parents don't not (I know, double negative!) love them anymore, but their parents just think that what they did was bad but still love them.

Anyway I'm not analysing anymore as I really really don't want to and I need to learn about compilers.