Over twenty

Over twenty will ruin your life if you let her. You have been warned.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

After a While - Veronica A Shoftal

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin, you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts and
presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman
not the grief of a child
and you learn
to build your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way
of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting
for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn you really are strong
and you really do have worth
and you learn and you learn
with every good-bye you learn.


Thursday, October 27, 2005

Updating

Hi all

How are you doing?

How's life been treating you?

Sorry I haven't been around lately. I've been busy.

Not busy doing much, mind you, but busy enough not to blog. Or maybe not busy enough to have anything to blog.

I've been doing a lot of Karate and Jitsu... Friday karate Saturday Jitsu Sunday Karate Monday Jitsu yesterday and today Karate...

Tomorrow's a break so I will give my rather aching muscles sometime to rest. I flexed my biceps just now and was rather astonished to find that I actually had biceps.

My toe's slightly stubbed from karate yesterday and my phone is being ultra stroppy with me - I think it might finally be the time to get a new phone? I'll give it another week and see how it does.

Meanwhile I wish I could say I have been doing a lot of work but I just haven't. This is going to equal many sleepless nights but I just can't seem to care? Maybe tomorrow I will. I am waking up early tomorrow (10) to go to the careers service to get my CV looked over.

I find it funny how different people cope with new-found singledom. I dye/bleach my hair, convince myself I love uni work, listen to new-found music (why did I go with him to those concerts?) and do an awful lot of martial arts. A couple of friends I know went on a rather impressive number of one-night stands. In fact I think they are still doing that but I haven't checked in lately as one of them is currently in a different country and the other should probably be best called an 'ex-friend'. Another friend is taking back the Freshman year that she missed by being with a long-distance boyfriend and decides all of a sudden that clubbing and drinking is 'the shit'.

And what about the 'maybe' boys we meet whilst on these activities? Obviously the two friends who have an impressive number of one-night stands take them home and sleep with them. Friend who is clubbing and drinking takes them for a dance and maybe later has one of those gross public make-out sessions. And me? I smile, say hi, then realise I have nothing else to say and look at my feet. While this is not the ideal way I'd like to react to them, I like it best out of the others. I do sometimes punch or kick or even throw them too. It is amusing to see that some things at least haven't changed.

It's been raining in Edinburgh lately. It's hard to stay cheerful when the weather goes grey, so I've been wearing my new red coat and carrying my new red umbrella and singing a lot of Counting Crows. While they are not the happiest band they are still good and what band is happy anyway? I keep the lights bright and drink orange juice and dress up as a pirate and sp34k l33t.

Internet I have to be up in 8 hours so I'll leave you there. I hope you are doing good. I'll speak to you soon. When November comes we can immerse ourselves in fireworks and Christmas together. Be well.


Monday, October 24, 2005

Wired News: Grim Outlook for Africa's Future

Wired News: Grim Outlook for Africa's Future

:( That is so depressing.

I wish everybody would make a bigger effort in their lives to be at least a little greener. Like stop being so anal about "their space" and try car pooling some more. You'll save on fuel!

I wish car companies would hurry up and roll out cars that no longer depend solely on petrol or diesel... but rather something less carbon emission inducing like electricity or hydrogen.

I wish more electricity companies would switch to renewable sources of energy.


Friday, October 14, 2005

Quick Update

I am massively tired and a mix of satisfied and dissatisfied by the work I did last night/this morning.

The satisfaction of finishing a program and having it work fine without NO errors whatsoever is unbelievable, but I can't believe I left it until so late! Ah well. The computer scientist works best under pressure.

I am so worried this year about everything counting. If I can't do that question, that's .5% off my whole grade. Can I afford .5%? What if its the difference between a 69.5% and a 70%? Think Hermione. 110% please!


Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Days like these...

...I wish I had a car!

Or at least a really big really bright umbrella.


Stressed!

Dear Internet

I am so very stressed at the moment! Despite my efforts to keep ahead of deadlines I find Friday creeping up on me... when 2 practicals are due! I have done half of one and 1/6th of the other... and then next week another practical is due... which I have done approximately 1/3rd of as well! Not to mention the Computer Design lab where I am doing stuff with a circuit board - which we are expected to finish on Thursday - and neither me or my partner has EVER done electronics in our life before!

This is crazy as I am putting a far lot more time into Uni this year than I did last year, and I'm still not ahead!


Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Dreams

Dear Internet...

I've had some rather weird dreams last night, including decaying bodies (live), being ruler of some country, or province, or continent, a forst, a ghost mouse in an old house, and ISKL (but not as we know it). I think I was Lara Croft, but I'm not sure.

I think some of this can be attributed to the new poster over my bed, Entre Les Trous de la Memoire by Dominique Appia.


Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Think Hermione!

My new motto of the moment is "Think Hermione!"

Which is why I have just spent 4 hours programming ML. I'm off to the supermarket now to replenish Soya milk, cereal, eggs, ... stuff... stocks.

Then it's back home to maybe, if I feel like it, cleaning up the flat. I'll probably see you in a bit, internet.


Saturday, October 01, 2005

Wired News: Mighty Mice Regrow Organs

Wired News: Mighty Mice Regrow Organs

:o Also nothing I can think of to say about this. But I am greatly excited for science.


Skycar?

Skycar!

That's all I can think of to say at the moment.


w00t!

I just came online to brag about work done, my super organizational skills, and my new wallpaper. :D

I finished reading all that I had been set to read so far and now I just have to do some tutorial questions and the hand-ins that have started to appear one after the other! So many things to do... so little time... will definitely have to cut down on karate methinks!

Wallpaper was a combination of two things yanked off Mugglenet (Emerson!), the Slytherin Wallpaper and the Slytherin House Shield (because I thought the snake on the Slytherin wallpaper was a bit comical looking).

Toodle pip all - I am going to bed! Yes! I am relocating from the sofa to the bed because the novelty has worn off and I get cold in the living room. :(

Also wanted to say... I finally bought a bag! I've been looking all over for a bag that I can carry about and keep things like a water bottle and keys and a notebook and pen but is not as big as my school bag and doesn't look like a handbag! I finally got one yesterday and it cost me £5.99. Not bad, eh?