ok

I was just thinking... if I had a chance right now to sneak a peek at my life when I'm 40, would I do it?

I'm greatly greatly curious as to what the future is going to be like for me. Will I go down the conventional route, husband, job, kids? Or will I end up one of the many working single women desperate to find someone they can marry (Ally Mcbeal), will I find (and lose) a Larry? Even if I did get married, would I be happy or would we end up divorce papers and kids in need of counselling? Will I end up the crazy foreign lady in an African town with purple hair or herding cattle in the US, fixing computers in Antarctica, a yuppie in KL, dead in some tragic accident? Most importantly, would I be happy? Or would I have been happy along the way?

Would I fear not to look in case I wasn't? Because then what would be the point? Unless I'd done something significant for "the good".

Maybe I'd saved some kid's life. Or shot out an invading (unpeceful) alien force. Saved a tree. A forest.

Would it outweigh all things I'd done for "the bad"? Looking the other way when things weren't going as they should be, telling myself everybody else is doing it, what could one more person hurt? Eating McDonald's, buying Tesco's, unwilling to fork out an extra 40p for Fairtrade....

... would I enjoy coffee? I had a latte last week and throroughly enjoyed it, despite the fact I don't like coffee.

Would I still be allergic to alchol and intolerant to caffiene? Would I have developed some other allergy? Would I have friends? Real friends? Everybody has friends but how many have friends who will stick with you and be with you through bad times when you're huddled up in your duvet choking?

Would I be fat? Normal? Underweight? Would I have subcumbed to the pressures of society and demanded some weird beauty treatment like botox?

What about the world? What would it be like then? Would it be the techopia we're promised or the polluted unhappy pitstop to mass extinction we've already made some progress towards? Would we still have rainforests and coral beds or would kids have to put on virtual reality gear in order to experience a walk through a rainforest?

Ah.